Here are 100 additional Hobo Names you did not request

In Honor of John Hodgman's 700 Hobo Names, I bring you 701-800. I guess.


#701: Edamame Jones, the Human Soybean
#702: Timothy the Jellyfish Chiropractor
#703: Homeostasis McGillicuddy
#704: Alvin “Tijuana Nights” Spencer
#704: Flashlight Burleson, of the Burning Burlesons
#705: Nadia the Backgammon Cheater
#706: Skipper Sanders, the No-Pocketed
#707: Hush Puppy Alaijuwon
#708: Salmon Patty Douglas
#709: Esperanto Davison, the Babbler
#710: Toothpick Ramirez, the Fingerless
#711: Big Gulp
#712: Dmitri Burleson, the One-Eyed Dentist, no relation to the Burning Burlesons
#713: Deep-Sea Diving Irma of the Fish People
#714: Pressure-Valve Tcherepnin, or the Whistling Wozniak
#715: Viva Camels Horseback Tourism Service
#716: Hakim “No Trans Fat” Mendez
#717: Irish Steve, the Bearded
#718: “Pancake Fighter” Norris of Mapleton Falls
#719: Ahab, the Hooks-for-Eyes and Hooks-for-Teeth Reference Librarian
#720: Dual Exhaust Burleson, of the Burning Burlesons
#721: Gabriel Garcia Marquez
#722: Saltpeter McAdams, the Catholic Civil War Re-enactor
#723: Isabella Rosselini Cozick, or the Fake Italian
#724: Mariela Azkenazy, or The Little Bedazzler
#725: Bald Pete
#726: Hirsute Pete
#726: Mortician Pete
#727: Herbert “Adrianople” Left-Arm, or The Last Cappadocian
#728: Frank McCourt’s Eyebrows
#729: Jeff Gort, the Moderately Medium-Heighted
#730: Boxcar Nathan Burleson, the Pyromaniac
#731: Your Mother, So Named Because What Else Can You Call a 59-Year-Old Hobo from Platteville, NY
#732: The Tigress Ethan Hawke
#733: Nebuchadnezzar Gleeson, The Rapscallion Onion Cooker
#734: Santa Monica Freeway After Dark
#735: Concho “Crow’s Feet” Randall, the Shark Tester
#736: Papyrus Franz, the Banal Scrawler
#737: Boxcar Danforth, the Lackluster Scrabble Player
#738: Tetsuo
#739: Boxcar Ianuzzi, Electronics Dealer
#740: A Ladle Once Having Belonged to Henry David Thoreau’s Grist Mill Operator
#741: Tina Fey, Or Someone Who Resembles Her Greatly, But Bearded and Paunchy and Most Likely Not Tina Fey
#742: Bus-Stop Oliver Wendell Sherlock Holmes the Fourth
#743: Gooey Gooey Cocoa Beans, The Bitter
#744: Napalm Burleson, Father of the Burning Burlesons
#745: Alistair Go-Lightly McLean, the Footless Ghost
#746: Nebulous Nelly, the Hazy Actuary
#747: Jumbo Jameson, Designer of Flightless Liquor Bottle Birds
#748: Heavy Metal Delacroix , The Gumbo Queen of Kansas
#749: Ivor Darnetchka, the Three-Fingered Knitter
#750: Sullivan O’Sullivan, the Surly Jew
#751: Queen Anne Wearing Nothing But Lace
#752: “Uvula” Utley, The Silent Killer
#752: Humbert Humbert
#753: Wade Philips, the Dolt
#754: Nine-Ring Paul, the Electrician Who Once Successfully Mixed the Worlds of Sweet and Salty Breakfast Bars, As Evidence By His True Name, Oscar the Gastronome
#755: Oscar the Gastronome the Second
#756: Felipe Calderon
#757: “Jet-Pack” Travers, He of the Scalded Back
#758: Mister Blisters
#759: Eye-Teeth Frida
#760: Marvin Gleeson, the Dilettante Actuary, not to be confused with…
#761: Garvin Meason, the Actuarial Dilettante
#762: Yasmin Bleeth(e)
#763: Horatio Snowbottom Leahy, or Permafrost Pelvis
#764: Legless “Clusterbomb” Neely, Second Cousin Once Removed of Jet-Pack Travers
#765: “Normalized Relations” Weisenstein
#766: “Airport” Stevens, or The Man Who Leads At Least Three Double Lives Between Visits to His Loves at Various Airports Within Jet-Pack Distance of The Railyard
#767: “Airplane” Stevens, “Airport” Stevens’ Former Spouse
#768: Rusty Kelvin, The Frigid
#769: Busty Melvin, The Frigidaire
#770: Napalm Claxson, the Catnip Farmer
#771: “Burnt Toast” Nixon, The Naughty Ex-Girlfriend So Named for Depilating a Chihuahua Near a Toaster
#772: Harold Mouth-Eyes, the Food-Watcher
#773: Tabasco Marlin, or a Cooked Fish
#774: Renal-Failure Sanford, the Lipless
#775: Aldous “The Bulbous” Malikonious
#776: Kaneda
#777: Reena Burleson, or Spicy Curry Steve
#778: Mohawk Albritton, the Saddest Hobo Not In A Joy Division Cover Band
#779: Fauxhawk Albritton, Mother of Mohawk
#780: “Remote-Control” Randy Riles, the Living Nickel-Cadmium Battery Pack
#781: Snow-Angel Jimenez, the Rowdiest Cobbler
#782: Key-Lime Krista of the Secret Anti-Jet-Pack Hobo League, or the Baking Beauty
#783: Arista Records
#784: Kurt the Opalescent Turtle
#785: Shiny Shiny Shiny Knees, the Legless
#786: Noriko Fuji, the Displaced Shinto
#787: Birth-Sign Helman, the Birthday-less
#788: King Lear
#789: Ignatius Josephus Centurion, the Belt-Eater
#790: Ignatius Barnabus Kleptos, the Belt-Stealer
#791: Little Argonaut Boskiewicz
#792: The Ghost of Juan Williams Present
#793: Mara Liasson, The Ghost of Juan Williams' Future
#794: Little Cranky Keith, the Disappointed Father
#795: Large-Eared Ernest, the Deaf
#796: Crabcake Dawson the Kosher
#797: Hidalgo Burleson the Tarantula Masseuse, no relation to the Burning Burlesons, except through marriage to…
#798: Wanda Ford, Secret Taxidermist
#799: Jose Guiterrez Lancaster, the Third-Most-Sought-After Tennessee Ernie Ford Impersonator
#800: “Habeas Corpus” the Silent Azerbaijani, or Klaus Peck the Loudmouth

(reposted here for those who aren't affiliated with That Particular Social Network)